An Indie Author’s Letter to Santa


Dear Santa,

I don’t think you’re typically in it for middle-aged indie authors but I figured I had nothing to lose by trying.  I’ve been writing this sort of letter to bookstores and publishing houses and literary agents and they’re just as invisible and elusive as you are.  At least with you I can keep the format a bit more relaxed and I’m actually more assured of receiving a positive response (or, in fact, any response at all).

There are some things I want for Christmas this year that are a bit more intangible than I would be able to ask from my loved ones.  They’re also things that, I understand, won’t be available Christmas morning or any time in the very near future.  They are, however, achievable and will not exhaust your magic in granting them to me, should you feel they are deserved.

First and foremost, I would like a broader and more active reader base for Christmas.  I’m not asking for J.K. Rowling or GRRM numbers of devotees (certainly the same level of fanaticism would be nice) but if you could take my fans from the five I know are there and double them, please, that would be fantastic.  Give me the grassroots start I’ve been looking for.  Give me the people who won’t rest until they’ve shoved my book in the face of everyone they know in hopes that they will read it.  Give me peeps who will retweet, like, and share.  Give me someone who wants to ask questions about their favorite characters or wants to actually see the sequel released.  Give me people who will give me feedback.  Give me people who are shipping characters.  Give me the crazies.  Give me the random person on the street wearing a U7 logo pin.  Just give me something a little bit more.

Second, give me new readers.  Not the same as my first request.  I would also like people just to read and review my book.  Every reader is a potential five stars.  Every star means that my book has a chance to get featured on Amazon.  That means more readers and more stars.  It perpetuates.  In essence, this is the gift that keeps on giving.  At least, in theory.

Third, give me a bigger hammer.  I’ve been trying to hammer my way through the sequel but I’ve hit a wall and the current hammer I have is apparently not big enough to get me all the way to the end.  I would very much like to have this book done by the time the next Steel City Con rolls around in April.  Plus, they say that the more books you have on Amazon, the better your visibility as an author.  Don’t know how true this is but I would like to find out on my own.  If not a bigger hammer, then someone (see item one) to encourage me to fight it out and keep moving forward.

Fourth, more fan art.  A.C. Mickey is a great artist and is just the style I want.  Give me more of her stuff, please.  If anyone else is interested, poll them.  I’d like to see what they make of my characters.  This also relies heavily on item one.

Fifth, even though I like the grassroots thing, getting out there and pressing the flesh and making sales on my books, I would very much like some help with distribution or backing.  Give me a house/agent/something, doesn’t have to be super-major, that’s interested in picking up the book.  I’d still do as much grassroots as I could, but it would be nice to have someone to help with the heavy lifting.

Lastly, I would very much appreciate a little more self-confidence.  It’s hard out here but everyone knows that.  Give me something that will allow me to have the balls to actually buck up and preach from the mountains how awesome my book is without feeling like a pretentious scumbag and without thinking of the parts that I believe to be flawed.

I know that I’m not on the nice list because I’m a dick most of the year.  I’m a funny dick, at least, you have to give me that.

Unlucky Seven should be on the nice list, though.  It’s done nothing but good for me in just about every possible aspect.  If you don’t want to help me with any of these things, think of the book and do it for the book.  It’s a good little book and deserves to have a great first Christmas.

Thanks for hearing me out.

Keep fighting the good fight.

-JPB

—end transmission—

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